Adventure Girls and Ferd

Two weeks from now we will be on the plane embarking on this new grand adventure. There still feels like so much to do but we are getting there. Slowly.  The next two weeks are filled with packing, moving, cleaning, selling, and partying. B. turns 8! on Wednesday. Where has my little baby gone? She is an amazing kid with a big heart, a great sense of humor, and an inquisitive mind.  I have so much to say about this whole moving and relocating process but I can't find the words.  Instead here is a picture of our beautiful rhodies and my silly girl. 

Things are moving along and falling into place. For the most part.  We've accepted an offer on the house.  The van has been sold.  T. signed a lease for a townhouse in Germany.  Plane tickets have been purchased.  To say it has been extremely stressful would be an understatement. Most conversations with T. involve us trading lists of stressors and hopes for some peace when we are all reunited.  Outstanding stressors include: -Closing on the house -Getting house packed and shipped (and the movers told us it could take to two months to get our HHG!) -B. getting an admission offer at her potential school -Getting through the airport with luggage, two cats, a dog, and a heavy heart.  Here is a beautiful water color done by my friend and artist Cathy Hartung. It will be a cherished reminder of our happy home. 

7-8 weeks. That is the estimated transit time for out household items once they are shipped. Cue panic attack. I was expecting perhaps a month but with Covid, Suez Canal issues, and general fuckery we are looking at 7-8 weeks.  7-8 weeks is a long time to live in a place with no chairs, beds, mattresses, clothes, glasses, utensils, mini-cupcake pans! We were planning on purchasing some items, like a couch, a bed for the guest room, but not general day-to-day items. It seems wasteful to purchase duplicate items because your colander, sports bras, and board games are stuck in a cardboard box, inside a wooden crate, in a metal container, on a cargo ship, somewhere on the Atlantic Ocean.  Help. Feeling overwhelmed. 

B. cried tonight. She was upset that she wouldn't be able to wear her pajamas to sleep in while on the plane. I tried to tell her that was all part of the adventure but I am not sure the promise of adventure will work much longer to ease her fears.  I have to remind myself that she is still little and immature. She is a child and I want her to enjoy being a child for as long as she can. We are asking her to deal with lots of big life changes with which T. and I are barely adequately coping.  Tonight in the middle of her meltdown I had to remind myself that when little people have big feelings and big outbursts they need their people to help them navigate their feelings, not add to the chaos. That can be a challenge when you are stressed, tired, and watching your child in distress.  This move is not going to be easy on any of us. I still question whether we are doing the right thing or not. Being an adult making adult decisions is tough.  Photo of the last...

It has been a busy week. On Tuesday the photographer came to photograph the house for the real estate listing. On Wednesday the house went on the market. On Thursday I had a MS Teams interview for a nursing position in Germany. On Friday I worked and we had two house showings. Saturday we rested and on Sunday we had two more house showings.   Now we wait for an offer. A good offer. An above listing offer. We hope. While we would like the best and highest offer possible, I will just be happy when the whole ordeal is over. I don't know how many times I can scrub the kitchen floor and polish the door knobs. Poor B. hasn't been able to play with most of her toys for fear of making a mess.  This entire relocation process has been a hurry-up-and-wait game. It is a challenge to try to live in the present when you there are so many life-changing decisions out there. Where to live, sell the house, sell the car, get a job, school for B. Relocating across the globe is not for the fa...

T. went to look at a house today. It has lots of great features and only one or two negatives. The deciding factor maybe whether or not hedgehogs make visits to the yard. T. kindly humors me when I make such declarations.  For almost as long as I can remember I have been a fan of hedgehogs. Mrs. Tiggywinkle was my introduction to hedgies and I have been enamored since. Being in the US the only chance I have had to interact with them has been at some petting zoo or what.  In Germany the European Hedgehog is a wild animal. So while I won't be having any as a pet, the fact that I could have a wild one in my backyard is thrilling!  I think I found a way to spend my days: hedgehog observing! Perhaps I'll build them a little town to inhabit in our back garden. Maybe sew them some little hats and provide boots for the wet weather.  Here is our potential backyard. I think Hedgehog Hollow or Hedgehog Hill? Tiggy's Town? Winkle Woods? would look quite nice here.  ...

How many is too many? 5? 10? 20? I have a tote crammed full of reusable shopping bags and I need to decide how many to keep. Help! I love them all. 

With this move we find ourselves in the fortunate position where I do not have to work. And honestly, it is freaking me out a bit. Before B. (and S. and E.) I was convinced that I would always be a career woman who chose to have children.  My mom instilled in me the need to have a career. So much so I ended up with two - Urban Planner and Nurse! I believe her wise words were something like, "If you ever get divorced you want to be able to take care of yourself." Luckily, I am not divorced and ended up with two satisfying careers.  After working so hard for my Masters in Urban and Regional Planning and then going back to nursing school and somehow surviving and thriving in an accelerated BSN program, the thought of not working or not having a career goal is a bit terrifying.  What would I do all day? Chauffeur B. around Stuttgart? I do want a Volvo. Clean the house? HAH! That would never happen and if I start debating the best mixture for lime removal someone p...

Still so much to do. This is one of the many to-do lists I have going. Unfortunately the rest are in my head! Not a good place for them with all the '80s music lyrics, # of square feet in an acre, the name of the baby in Willow, and other random information.  In hopes of enticing offers once listed, we did opt to get a home inspection. It went really well and there were just a few things, some of which actually made it on this list, that needed attention. Our painter suggested that we don't get a home inspection because the potential buyers will want one of their own. We opted to get one anyway just to.make sure there were no huge surprises. Would you get a home inspection of your own or did we just waste money? Speaking of the painters, I have another thing to add to the list: -Attempt to touch up a portion of my beautiful, freshly painted walls where B. thought it would be fun to do some painting of her own. Seriously. 

I wrote a long post about difficulty choosing between the urban lifestyle with an apartment in the city or a single-family home out in the suburbs. Then I remembered that I have a dog that loves to bark and a child that loves to scream.  Stuttgart suburbs here we come. I do hope we can be close to some type of public transportation.  Stuttgart has the U-bahn (underground) and Stadtbahn Stuttgart (light rail), which gives us lots of options. There is also a bus system. I need to spend some time figuring out how it all connects but I am up to the challenge! Here is a map of the U-bahn. B.'s potential school will be in Sindelfingen so we hope to focus our housing search there. 

Thank goodness they picked a good radio station. We are on Day 2 of painters here. Originally they were just going to repair the ceiling in the dining room and bedroom and paint the bedroom walls. Then we thought they could do the front room ceiling too. Since they're at it might as well have them do the walls in the front room. The stairway. And the downstairs bathroom. $$$. We are hoping that the extra cost will result in better showing and a quicker sale.  I am not good at picking colors. The painter suggested Sherwin Williams "Accessible Beige". It is a nice neutral in the greige family of colors. Looks good to me. And it matches our drapes! What do you think of our work in progress? 

T. left on Wednesday in a swirl of last minute panic from Covid tests, $400 in extra luggage fees, and near-missed connections. He is now quaranting in his 2-bedroom apartment with balcony in Stuttgart Mitte. There is a beautiful church across the street and the church bells are driving him crazy. Our previous quandary over which neighborhood to live has quickly turned into wherever is farthest from the church bells!  B. and I are adjusting. In some ways this feels like another deployment or active duty stint. On the other hand I am trying to declutter an overstuffed 1400 sq ft house, with full basement and garage. On my own. While working as a nurse. During a pandemic. While homeschooling my child. Here's how I copied with his departure:  The world's best $7.50 vegan milkshake from Strong Hearts Cafe in Syracuse. Emotional eating at its best.  

This evening was our Auf Wiedersehen dinner with my parents. As soon as we left T. turned to me and asked, "We're doing the right thing, right?" Then he proceeded to list off all the reasons why this feels like the right life-changing decision: new job for T., great school for B., opportunities for B., potential to travel across Europe, career advancement for T.  The most difficult part and the only reason we question this new adventure is leaving my parents. They have such a close relationship with B. They have been such a huge part of her and our lives for the past seven years. They have been our primary babysitters and go-to caregivers when ever we needed help. They kept and cared for B. for 2.5 months during the initial lockdown when we were concerned about potential exposures from my work as a nurse. We are so indebted to them and yet I know they would do it all again in a heartbeat.    My mom gets sad when she goes more than 3 days without seeing B. I am not sure ho...

Never thought I'd see the day we would be a 1-car family. But here we are. The Civic has been sold. Oddly enough to a former neighbor from when I was young. We were reminiscing about life on the Hill and I got to thinking.  I have lived in this area for most of my life with short stints in other memorable places like Long Island and New Orleans.  I never thought I would end up back in the Triple Cities but I have been back for 13 years and probably would stay longer if not for this exciting opportunity. I am used to knowing my way around the area, running into old friends at Wegmans, and the comforts of home. I haven't been new to an area in more than a decade. I am nervous about living in a new city, a new country(!), learning how to navigate a public transit system (ok, I am really excited about that one), settling in to a new house, and meeting new people. Journaling has helped me through some difficult times so I am hoping this blogging gig will help as well.  Things ...

Sell T's car. Sell my car. Declutter house. Figure out what we are taking with us. Fix up house. List house. Sell house. Pet vet appointments. Pet passports. International driving licenses. Find a place to live. Buy new car. School for B.  WHERE TO BEGIN???? Anyone want to buy a car? 

I barely remember the preparations for the c-section. The nurses went into high gear. Lab techs were called to take blood, leaving two nice bruises on my arm from a blown vein and a second attempt. The pain was also kicking into high gear and when the anesthesiologist came to speak with me the conversation quickly turned from a genial conversation to me begging him to make the pain go away. Prior to this there was discussion about what to do with baby. We weren't quite to the magical 24 week point where babies are considered viable. By an early sonogram baby was measuring 23w6d. By my last menstrual period baby was considered 23w1d. By ovulation date she was 23w5d. A day's difference may not seem like much but at such a crucial point every day mattered. The hospital I was at has a level 3 NICU appropriate for babies 28 weeks and older. This was the reason for my impending transfer to the other hospital. They could handle babies 24 weeks and older. I heard Colleen speaking t...

Why the blog name change? Well, I'll tell you. The blog was previously named, "In Pursuit of a Family" and chronicled the loss of our daughter, considerations of adoption, and ultimate NICU experience with B. We have our family now, though we are always considering expanding the family but won't be doing that biologically and have ethical and moral concerns about spending $50,000 on an adoption but I digress...so we have reached our goal of a family. It is small. It is far from perfect. But it is ours and I am happy with it.  But Adventure Girls and Ferd? Who is this Ferd character? B. loves imaginative play. One game we like to play is, "Adventure Girls".  She and I get to go off on adventures. We have binoculars, field notebooks, and adventure bags. Normally we just play Adventure Girls when we go on hikes but sometimes we use the promise of an adventure to help soften a potentially scary or anxiety-inducing situation. Another thing B. loves to play is fam...

I forgot I had this blog. Amazing how life gets moving and things have a way of falling off the radar.  B. is 7. 7 years old. She is a blessing and I am grateful to be her mommy. These past few years have had their ups and downs but every day I wake up and think how lucky I am (after I curse about waking up so early and how my back aches).  This pandemic has thrown our lives into turmoil but we have been lucky. T. and I have our jobs. B. lived with my parents for 2.5 months during the beginning of all this craziness. With my increased risk from working at the hospital we felt it best, even though it was difficult, to have her stay with my parents. We could best limit her and their risk that way. We would talk on the phone daily and see each other for a socially distant visit weekly. It was painful when one of us, and sometimes even B., had to remind the other person of the 6 ft rule. Our Easter egg hunt consisted of B. lobbing some plastic eggs my way so we would all have simi...

Wow. It has been more than 2 years since my last update. I am pretty sure I have no one reading this blog but in case you do I am happy to report B is doing wonderfully.  She is now 2.5 yo, 23.5lbs, walking, talking, smiling, laughing, chortling, and fake coughing. She is a true blessing and not a day goes by that I don't thank all the powers that be for having her in my life. Joy has been the theme for the past 2 Christmas cards and it is so fitting-she truly is a joy. B is now attending pre-school 3 mornings a week. Today when I dropped her off at school she told me, "No cry, happy." It makes me so happy to know that she is enjoying her time at pre-school. 

Bath and weight night update: B now weighs 1545g or 3lb 6.5oz. B has been doing well with her weight gain and feeds. This week her feeding schedule has progressed rapidly. On Wednesday they increased her to breast feeds 3 times a day. On Thursday they increased it to 4 times. And then yesterday they increased it to all oral feeds (breast or bottle) as long as she can tolerate it. If she is tired then the feeding tube is still available as well. So far she's been a champ. We did 6 out of 8 feeds yesterday by mouth. And have done 5 out of 7 today. We're hoping to breast feed exclusively but she is still little and tires easily so yesterday I gave her one feeding by bottle. My first time bottle feeding her! And today T got to bottle feed her! Before she can come home she has to be able to take all feeds by mouth so if a bottle feed here and there helps get her home quicker it is ok with me! Her oxygen settings are about the same and will most likely stay that way for the week...