Adventure Girls and Ferd

Today I am 21 weeks and 1 day pregnant. This is the most pregnant I have ever been. I am nervously happy about it. When this pregnancy first started and was going well T. and I said that we should be able to relax and enjoy it once we reached the 21 week mark.  Now the 24 week mark is our goal. I think I will be able to relax a tiny bit when we reach that point. T. feels he won't be able to relax until the 28 week mark. My current situation is certainly not how I expected my pregnancy to be.  I participate in a pregnancy message board and when I read some of the posts from women who are experiencing normal pregnancies who are also due in September I am amazed at how much they are enjoying their pregnancies. Many have completed their registries, are talking about baby showers, and sharing photos of their completed nurseries. I feel that they are so naive. I'm not jealous of their naivety but I am some what amazed and in awe of it. Today al...

I guess I can start with where I am - in the hospital! Say what?? Yes, it is true. On Tuesday we had our regularly scheduled ultrasound and appointment. At the ultrasound I kept a close eye on the screen when the tech was measuring my cervix. Sadly the number I saw were the ones I wanted to see. I was hoping that I was looking at the wrong numbers but I was pretty sure I knew what I was looking at. We asked the tech what my cervix was measuring and she said she couldn't tell us. Grr. When T. and I were making our way up to my appointment I told him what I thought I saw: .6 cm. Not good. Last Tuesday the cervix was measuring at 1.3cm and that was low and resulted in my bed rest at home. We got upstairs and as the nurse was walking us back to the exam room she asked how I was and I told her, "Worried. The numbers we saw didn't look good." When Dr. K. walked in the room the first thing he said was, "So you're cervix is shorter. We need to admit you to the ho...

PGAL or Pregnancy After A Loss Brain is a common occurrence among women who have experienced a loss and are again pregnant. Basically it means that you question everything you do, think, and feel as to whether or not it is a sign or a symptom that you need to be concerned about as related to the pregnancy. For example, during early pregnancy fatigue and nausea are common. When you are PGAL and you have normally thrown up by 9am and today it is 9:05am and you haven't thrown up you wonder if you are still pregnant or if you're going to lose this pregnancy as well.  These mindfucks can take a toll and affect how you experience your pregnancy. This pregnancy started out on a very positive note for me. It felt different than the previous pregnancy and I was much more positive and confident about its success.  And I truly felt that way. I wasn't just trying to convince myself that things were ok. They truly did feel ok. They felt slightly different than the previous pregnanci...

As luxurious as it sounds to spend all day in bed or on the couch it really isn't all that it is cracked up to be. Today is my third day of bed rest. At my appointment on Tuesday they measured my cervix and found that it had reduced from 3.4cm last Tuesday to 1.3cm. The amount of change is such a short period of time was cause for concern. Dr. K said that I was off work and on bed rest for the remainder of this pregnancy. Oh lordy. T. and I had talked about the possibility of long term bed rest after a week of bed rest following the insertion of my cerclage at 12w. Neither of us was thrilled with the idea but thought we would do what we had to. And here I find myself a little over 19w pregnant facing another 20 weeks in a horizontal position. Don't get me wrong, I will do whatever it takes to see that this little being inside of me has the best chance of being born full term, but the thought of another 4 1/2 months on my back or side is daunting. Last night I had my first p...