Milestones.

Today I am 21 weeks and 1 day pregnant. This is the most pregnant I have ever been. I am nervously happy about it. When this pregnancy first started and was going well T. and I said that we should be able to relax and enjoy it once we reached the 21 week mark.  Now the 24 week mark is our goal. I think I will be able to relax a tiny bit when we reach that point. T. feels he won't be able to relax until the 28 week mark. My current situation is certainly not how I expected my pregnancy to be. 

I participate in a pregnancy message board and when I read some of the posts from women who are experiencing normal pregnancies who are also due in September I am amazed at how much they are enjoying their pregnancies. Many have completed their registries, are talking about baby showers, and sharing photos of their completed nurseries. I feel that they are so naive. I'm not jealous of their naivety but I am some what amazed and in awe of it.

Today also marks the 12th day of my hospitalized bed rest. So far it hasn't been too bad. I did start to feel a bit sorry for myself today but that changed when I got a number of visitors. Becky, Georgia, and Deanna stopped by. It was nice to see them. Not many people outside of work and a work related message board know I'm here. I'm trying to share the news with more people but PGAL brain is messing with me. The Friday before we lost Evie I told a number people. I'm slightly worried that if I start telling people we'll lose B. as well.

To pass the time I started to crochet a little baby blanket. I had started one for Sylvie but now it sits on the dresser surrounding her ashes. This little blanket uses the same stitch but a differnt color yarn - purple. The stitch and the color are nods to Sylvie.

I've also come up with a lullaby to sing her - You Are My Sunshine. I've been singining it in my head mostly. I told T. about it and he crooned it to her yesterday. We got the giggles because he sounded so silly.

I've started to feel B. more, I think. T. still hasn't been able to feel her but I've noticed some thwaps and pokes. She seems to respond to the fetal heart monitor. When the nurses put it on my tummy I can sometimes feel her kicking the monitor. We can also hear the movements on the monitor.

Less than 3 weeks until the transfer to the other hospital. The countdown has begun.

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