Sh*t is getting real.

This evening was our Auf Wiedersehen dinner with my parents. As soon as we left T. turned to me and asked, "We're doing the right thing, right?" Then he proceeded to list off all the reasons why this feels like the right life-changing decision: new job for T., great school for B., opportunities for B., potential to travel across Europe, career advancement for T. 

The most difficult part and the only reason we question this new adventure is leaving my parents. They have such a close relationship with B. They have been such a huge part of her and our lives for the past seven years. They have been our primary babysitters and go-to caregivers when ever we needed help. They kept and cared for B. for 2.5 months during the initial lockdown when we were concerned about potential exposures from my work as a nurse. We are so indebted to them and yet I know they would do it all again in a heartbeat.   

My mom gets sad when she goes more than 3 days without seeing B. I am not sure how we are going to say goodbye to them when B. and I board the plane to Germany. There will be rivers of tears and mountains of tissues in both sides. 

On a side note, I feel like an almost complete failure as a homeschooling mom. I am trying to be gentle with myself and acknowledging that we are living through a freaking pandemic. If my kid takes a bit longer to learn her maths it will be all right. Our goal is to all make it out of this alive. Our grandparents' lives were interrupted by war and they all turned out all right. Right?

Today's picture: artwork by my dad 


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