Told my folks.
Well, we told my parents. Yesterday we invited them over to help hang some art work. My dad has a good eye for decorating and we're in the process of getting the house ready for our Mardi Gras party.
Originally we weren't planning on telling them until after our u/s on the 5th but the more I thought about it, the more I felt that we should share. After all we've been through I felt they should know and I would need their support if this pregnancy doesn't turn out like I hoped. How sad is that? Sadly, that is the reality of pregnancy after 3 losses. The naivety and innocence are gone. I'm still feeling optimistic about this pregnancy but it is tempered with a big dose of reality.
When my parents got here I didn't tell them right away. I think I was driving T. crazy because he kept pacing around and standing next to me and putting his hands on my shoulders to comfort me. I didn't want to tell my folks straight away because I worried then the rest of the visit would be focused on the pregnancy. My mom is very emotional, something that I have difficulty dealing with sometimes, so staying in control of the situation is important to me.
I wasn't sure how I was going to tell them. In the past we've done the special announcements so this time I wanted it to be a bit more low key. We were in the midst of discussing what pictures to put on what walls when I said, "Oh, we have the pictures from Monument Valley upstairs in the guest room. I've been wondering what to do with them when we turn the room into a nursery." It kind of sailed over my parents heads so I added, "When we turn the room into a nursery in September." Then they got it!
My mom just covered her face and my dad said something to the affect of, "Oh honey, we're happy for you but cautious." I'm not even sure what my mom really said. I asked T. afterwards and he couldn't remember either. There were no tears, which surprised me. I thought she would breakdown. She did say, "We think you're so brave for trying again." I don't know if it is bravery. I've thought about this often. Sometimes I think it is just stupidity or narcissism. Part of me thinks the universe keeps trying to tell me that I shouldn't have a baby and that's why they keep dying. Another part of me thinks that maybe this is all just a test to see how much we want a baby and if we're tenacious we'll be rewarded with a bio-baby. Another of the wonderful thoughts that crosses a Loss mom's mind. Then I come back to what I came to accept after Sylvie: we have no control over any of this. We can only control how we react to the situation.
The picture/art hanging turned out well. Here are some photos of the finished products:
Originally we weren't planning on telling them until after our u/s on the 5th but the more I thought about it, the more I felt that we should share. After all we've been through I felt they should know and I would need their support if this pregnancy doesn't turn out like I hoped. How sad is that? Sadly, that is the reality of pregnancy after 3 losses. The naivety and innocence are gone. I'm still feeling optimistic about this pregnancy but it is tempered with a big dose of reality.
When my parents got here I didn't tell them right away. I think I was driving T. crazy because he kept pacing around and standing next to me and putting his hands on my shoulders to comfort me. I didn't want to tell my folks straight away because I worried then the rest of the visit would be focused on the pregnancy. My mom is very emotional, something that I have difficulty dealing with sometimes, so staying in control of the situation is important to me.
I wasn't sure how I was going to tell them. In the past we've done the special announcements so this time I wanted it to be a bit more low key. We were in the midst of discussing what pictures to put on what walls when I said, "Oh, we have the pictures from Monument Valley upstairs in the guest room. I've been wondering what to do with them when we turn the room into a nursery." It kind of sailed over my parents heads so I added, "When we turn the room into a nursery in September." Then they got it!
My mom just covered her face and my dad said something to the affect of, "Oh honey, we're happy for you but cautious." I'm not even sure what my mom really said. I asked T. afterwards and he couldn't remember either. There were no tears, which surprised me. I thought she would breakdown. She did say, "We think you're so brave for trying again." I don't know if it is bravery. I've thought about this often. Sometimes I think it is just stupidity or narcissism. Part of me thinks the universe keeps trying to tell me that I shouldn't have a baby and that's why they keep dying. Another part of me thinks that maybe this is all just a test to see how much we want a baby and if we're tenacious we'll be rewarded with a bio-baby. Another of the wonderful thoughts that crosses a Loss mom's mind. Then I come back to what I came to accept after Sylvie: we have no control over any of this. We can only control how we react to the situation.
The picture/art hanging turned out well. Here are some photos of the finished products:
Comments
Post a Comment